


In My Arms

by Alex_and_Laff_and_John_and_Herc_and_Burr



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, Crying, Don't worry it'll all be fine......eventually, George is a teddy bear, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, QPQ verse, alex is sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-07-16 04:12:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7251607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alex_and_Laff_and_John_and_Herc_and_Burr/pseuds/Alex_and_Laff_and_John_and_Herc_and_Burr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex has never had a really great Christmas experience. George is determined to change that. There's only one week left before winter recess, and one week before George gets to whisk Alex away on vacation. </p><p>But, Alex is acting strange. There's something he's not telling George. Just five days till George can make things right, just five days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Quid Pro Quo](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5880157) by [rillrill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rillrill/pseuds/rillrill). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work is going to be brutal guys. Read at your own risk.
> 
> This chapter is OK, no trigger warnings, but I don't recommend continuing if you get easily triggered by certain things. 
> 
> That being said, each chapter I will give trigger warnings at the begging and tags will be updated as the work progresses. 
> 
> This work takes place in the QPQ verse and might make sense without reading Quid Pro Quo, but most likely not and I recommend you read QPQ. Highly, recommend you do! It's set a few months after Laf's wedding and everything's set up the same. Washington's a senator and Alex is now his Policy Director. 
> 
> Enjoy!

It was December in Washington DC. The air was brisk, snow paved the ground, and holiday lights were strung all around the place. Everyone was getting into the holiday spirit.

Personally, George Washington had grown indifferent to the season. In his childhood, Christmas was how any regular Christmas would be. He spent the day with his family, opening presents and eating a big dinner at the end of the day. It was nice, but it had grown repetitive and he’d aged out of it by the time he was in college. 

After he’d married Martha, Christmas became all about his step-kids. Always running about, trying to find all the toys they wanted and making each year better than the last. He loved his step-children,he truly did, and he enjoyed the Christmas’s they were together. But, he didn’t miss 

the stress that came with it. 

As the kids went off to College, it was just George and Martha. They’d developed a tradition; Christmas eve they went to church together. The next day they would always exchange gifts, call the kids, then go out to see a show, or to the opera or something. They ended the day by watching some silly holiday movie while eating Martha’s homemade ice cream and drinking Hot coco made from a recipe that George’s grandmother had taught him. It was quiet. It was wonderful. And even Christmas’s with Martha, his best friend, were getting a little dull.

However, this year was going to be different. This year he had Alex. His amazing, loving, perfect Alexander. George had plans to completely spoil his boy. He knew Alex deserved it after how hard he’d been working over the past few months. He also knew that Alex doesn’t have the fondest memories of the holiday, except for the few spent with John, December 25th had just been another day to him. He'd told about how his mother could never afford gifts for his brother and himself, but she always took them to church and gave them a tiny desert, that was a bittersweet memory. When Alex moved to the states, he worked on Christmas, he needed the money. The few Christmas's spent with John consisted of snowball fights, Chinese food, and bad holiday movies. It was special to them, but it was never really _Christmas._  

George was going to make this year unforgettable for his love, they both needed it.

 

***

 

They were cuddled up together in George’s bed. It was Monday, the start of the last week before winter recess. George opened his eyes reluctantly, meeting nothing but darkness. He read the clock on the nightstand, 4:30. They didn’t need to get up for another hour. He could feel goosebumps forming on his skin, it was freezing in the apartment. It was possible that the heating went out, they were doing maintenance yesterday on the building and something must have gone wrong. 

He pulled the covers closer and brought Alex in closer to his chest, he noticed something. Alex was a little damp, a cold sweat covered his body.

“Alex, sweetie, are you awake?” George whispered into his ear. His heart dropped when he felt his boy shudder underneath him. “Are you cold? You don’t seem OK, you're breathing a little funny.”

No response.

“Babe, can you turn around for me?” Washington pleaded.

After a few moments, Alex flipped around to meet George’s face. It was dark, but George was close enough to see that Alex had been crying. He pulled him in even closer.

“Sweetie, what’s wrong? Why were you crying? Please, talk to me.” 

“I- it’s, it’s nothing. I’ ]m sorry I woke you.” His voice was rough and deadly quiet, “Please don’t be mad, jus- just go back to sleep. Please, don’t worry about me.” 

Washington sat them up a little, moving Alex more into his lap.

“Love, of course I’m going to worry about you and if you’re crying then I want you to tell me. Even if you do wake me up.” He tried to stifle a laugh, “What’s wrong?” 

Alex softened a bit under George’s arms, “I had a bad dream. I know it’s stupid, childish even. But it was about a few years ago, around this time.” 

George kissed his forehead, “It’s not childish. If it upset you like this then it’s important. Do you want to talk about it?”

“I, well..” Alex shifted his gaze towards the ground, he looked like he might start crying again.

“Shh, it’s OK.” Washington whispered, “I've got you, you’re safe, you're in my arms now, sweetie.” He started running his hand through his messy, yet luxurious, hair. “It’s ok if you don’t want to talk about it now. But, I think you should later, get it all out.”

“Yeah, I- I agree. Don’t, OK so don’t take this the wrong way. I might talk to John about it tomorrow, I mean cause he was there when it happened, and he actually remembers all the details. But, it’s not like  _ that,  _ I swear that’s over, I still love him, but not like how I love you, love him it-” 

“Shhh,” he cut him off. “Alex, it’s a little early to ramble isn’t it?” George said with a soft chuckle.

“It’s ok if you have to talk to John or anyone else about it first. I know he’s important to you, and above all I trust you. I hope you can tell me anything and everything, but I’m not going to push you into doing something you’re uncomfortable with.” 

Alex looked back up at him, moving a hand to cup his cheek. “I love you, desperately.” He planted a kiss on his lips, “Thank  you, for, ya know, understanding.”

“Of course, my Alexander.” George pulled him into another kiss. “Now, do you want to get some more sleep or…” he trailed off.

“I don’t think I can. I’ve been up for like half an hour before woke you up.” That broke George’s heart. His boy was crying for thirty minutes without him there to help. 

“That’s OK. I don’t think I can either.” He looked over to the clock, which now read 4:50 AM. “We have some extra time, now. Why don’t we get in the shower, then I can make us some of my Grandmother’s special hot coco.” He was going to save it for their trip, but it may be best now.

“I’d love that.” 

With one last kiss, Washington stood up and carried Alex over to the shower. 

One week and then they’d be off work and together. George was even more determined to make this Christmas spectacular for Alex. Now, he knew it wasn’t just the hard work that he needed to get his boy away from. Now there was something else. 

_ Five days.  _ Washington thought.  _ Just get through five days.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! 
> 
> Please leave comments and criticism (constructive only and please be nice.) 
> 
> I'm thinking a range of where this fic will go so if you have ny suggestions, hot me up in the comments below or I'm, rain-and-roses-in-the-city , on tumblr. 
> 
> Thank you for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the morning, things are domestic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Hello, Hello. Ooo, look a new chapter. Soak it in people, this will be the last calm one before things really start to pick up. 
> 
> No trigger warnings, maybe just a bit of self-loathing. 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Sidenote: If anyone thought George was overdoing it with the pet names in the last chapter, don't worry, so did I. I'm not going to go back and change ot, but it will be more reigned in from here on out.

These  were the moments Alex lived for. The times when George and him were utterly domestic. It made him feel whole, made him feel like he had a place in this world. He began to forget the reality that these moments of domesticity were also killing him. They were secret moments, if anyone ever found out about them both George and Alex would have to deny them, they’d have to deny each other. Alex knew this is what he signed on for. But it didn’t change the fact that sometimes this realization made him feel like a prostitute, like he didn’t really matter to George. But Alex didn’t focus on this much, at least he didn’t use to.

“Mhm, that smells amazing, Princess.”

George emerged from the bedroom, mostly fully dressed except his shirt wasn't buttoned and his tie hung open around his neck. They had finished their shower a little while ago and now Alex was making them eggs with bacon. Simple, but it’ll do. 

George strode over to the stove and clamped his wide hands on Alex’s hips, bringing him back into his chest. 

Alex leaned into his lovers comforting embrace, “Thank you, Daddy.” He snickered. 

Alex could feel the laugh George’s chest let out. He looked up to meet the others eyes and was greeted with a soft kiss.

“I’m going to get started on the coco.” George moved towards the cabinets, much to Alex’s dismay, and began rummaging through them for ingredients. He knew the only reason George was being overly sweet was because Alex had just had a minor melt down, still feeling bad about that, he knew things would probably be back to normal by the time they got back home. 

_ Home.  _ He thought. Even though John and Alex still had the apartment, George’s place was his home now. George was his home now. 

Alex mentally rolled his eyes at himself after thinking that. He didn’t know why he was being so emotional, as of late, but he really needs to cut it out. It’s annoying and it’s making his head foggy. 

“So, have you thought about our trip recently.”

Alex turned around, snapping out of his thoughts, “Of course. But, I keep telling you, I don’t know how to ski.” 

They were headed up to a private resort in British Columbia, Canada. George rented an entire, secluded, cabin for the two of them to stay in. 

 

_ Nobody there will know us, it’ll be perfect. We’ll be together and we won’t even have to worry about anyone seeing me put my arms all over you.  _ Alex remembered, it would be nice not having to worry so much about being in public. He knew George wasn’t trying to hide him, it was just for both of their job security. 

 

“And I keep telling you, I’ll teach you.” George scoffed. 

“I feel like this is in some way going to be an ego boost to you.” 

“Now, why would you say that?”

“Because for an entire three weeks you get to see me fail at skiing and then you’ll be the one to come and help me to not make a complete fool of myself.”

George rolled his eyes and smiled, “Whatever you say, Princess.” 

Alex knew he should be happier about this trip. Three weeks, alone with the man he loved. What else could be better.

“Oh, and I’m just warning you now, I’m not really a cold weather person.”  _ Why are you trying to be difficult.  _ He thought.

“Don’t worry, I made arrangements for ski clothing a while ago. As for when we aren’t skiing, I think I can find  _ another _ way of keeping you warm.” George moved to give Alex his cup, seeing the blush rise in Alex’s cheeks.

“Heh, I think that might be of interest to me.” He didn’t sound overly believable in what he was saying. 

George moved in closer, placing a hand on the others forearm and giving him a concerned look. Alex sighed and closing his eyes, he deflated a little. 

“I’m  sorry. I’m excited about this, I really am, grateful too. It’s just, things have been sorta weird with me and I don’t know why I being so difficult…” Alex felt his eyes burning into the back of his skull.  _ I am not about to do this again, George doesn’t deserve this, I don’t deserve him. Don’t you dare cry, Alexander! _

George set their mugs down and pulled him into a tight hug. 

_ “ _ Alexander, it’s ok.” He kissed the top of his head, “It’s just all the stress getting to you. You’ll feel better after you eat breakfast. And once the week is out, we’ll be away and you will  _ really _ start to feel better.”

“I don’t deserve you.”  _ Why did I say that?  _ The voice inside his head was only getting worse. 

“I know. You deserve much better.” 

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know. But you thought wrong. Now, let’s eat.”

***

After breakfast, Alex stood in front of a mirror as George did his tie for him. He really did know how to do it himself, but George would use any excuse he could to touch Alex.  

“There, perfect.” George wore a look of satisfaction as he stood admiring his work.

Alex slid his coat on, the new one he’d gotten after George had seen the sorry excuse for a winter jacket he use to wear. 

“You sure that coats warm enough?” 

“George,” Months into saying his name and it was finally starting to sound normal to Alex, “It’s great. Everything you get me is just right, just perfect.” 

“Ok. Do you want me to drop you off by the metro?” 

He’d shifted into taking the metro to work everyday. As winter went on, it was no longer safe for Alex to ride his bike into the office, too much ice. It was only a three minute walk from George's apartment and once he reached his stop, it was only a two minute walk to the office. They could get away with rides back to the apartment from the office, but it was just wise to come in at separate times and in separate ways. 

“No, I think I can make it a whole four blocks.” 

George’s face fell, “Well, I’ll see you at the office then, Princess.” He made his way out the door.

Alex froze, then lept onto the man's arm, “George wait!” It was his turn to pull the other into an embrace. “I’m sorry. Thank you so incredibly much for putting up with me. I love you so so so deeply. Please don’t leave.” He wasn’t sobbing this time, thank god for that, but he was fighting to keep from shaking.

George put his hands on Alex’s back, “I love you too,my boy, and I’m not going anywhere without you. If you think I’m mad, or upset, or even disappointed, I’m not. I’m just saddened to see you so down.”

“I’ll try and be less sad, then.”

“No, Alex that’s not what I’m saying. It’s ok to be sad. Just please,  _ please _ ask me for help if you need it this week.” He pulled away and a look that barely resembled a smile. “Now, I did say I’m not going to leave you, buuut, we do have work to be heading to. Oh, and you’re getting a ride.”

“But-”

“Nope, non-negotiable. I don’t want you alone on a cold subway today, you’re coming with me. I’ll drop you off at the Starbucks a few blocks away if it makes you feel better.” George took Alex’s hand and lead him out the door.

“Did I ever tell you you’re the best person, ya know, ever.”

“Once or twice, but it was under very  _ different  _ circumstances.” 

It must’ve been the fourth time George made him blush that day and it wasn’t even nine AM yet.

“Nevermind, I take it back, you’re the absolute worst.”

George smirked, “Come on, Princess, let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, aren't they adorable. Like I said people, calm before the storm. 
> 
> Here's the inspiration for the place they're vacationing at, not really relevant but it looks cool, http://www.mountainexposure.com/zermatt-chalets/chalet-zermatt-peak.html 
> 
> Next chapter will feature everyone's favorite fightin' Frenchman, LAFAYETTE! 
> 
> Also if you wanna chat or ask questions you can message me at my tumblr below.   
> Tumblr: rain-and-roses-in-the-city ,or , http://rain-and-roses-in-the-city.tumblr.com/ 
> 
> Comments are very much welcomed. Hope you enjoyed, now go and have a great day!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frederick Von Steuben, only sent letters to Washington, if something serious had happened.  
> An e-mail can be traced, recovered even, hacked too. But you can burn letters. Washington remembered him saying.  
> He finally picked up the damned paper and opened it.  
> “Well, so much for a boring week.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, new chapter! 
> 
> So, no trigger warnings, it'll be a little while before we get to any serious one's, this chapter along with the next one will be ok, maybe just a bit angsty.
> 
> Again, if you haven't read Quid Pro Quo,(which you should) this may be a little confusing. But, if you haven't, all you need to know is that, George is a senator, Alex is his Policy Director, Lafayette works for him too, George has a secret senate hideaway, and George & Alex's relationship is not public. There will be references to QPQ, obviously, but you can probably skip over them. But, again, read QPQ, it's great.
> 
> Please, enjoy!

George settled down in his desk. There was no work to do, just loose ends to tie up before the end of the year. There was a bill about green card restrictions floating around the senate, but it was doubtful that it would make it to a vote before winter recess. It was going to be a slow week for the Washington team. At least he could go home early with Alexander, every night, maybe take him out to dinner at that new place in Georgetown. 

As if on cue, he heard Alex entering the bullpen.

 

“Lafayette, a venti Vanilla latte with three shots of espresso.”

“ _ Mon ami _ , you are the best.” In the past few months, Alex and Laf had grown a lot closer. It was nice to actually like the people you work with. 

“Miss. Margarita Schuyler, one hot chocolate with extra whipped cream.”

“Alex, you know I’m not a child, right, I do drink coffee.” Peggy was hired as Washington’s personal assistant after Alex became policy director. Her resume may have just happened to  _ mysteriously _ land on his desk after Eliza had come by for a  _ random _ visit. But, it was a joy having her as part of the team, she was just as wonderful as Eliza but with a bit more aggression than her sister. 

“I know. That’s why there’s two shots of espresso in it.” he replied.

“Thank you, Alex, and stop calling me Margarita.” she called after him. But, he’d already made his way to Washington’s door. 

“Come, in.”

Alex slipped through, “Good morning, Sir. Coffee, two creams, one sugar, boring as ever.”

“Thank you, Alexander. For the coffee, not the commentary.”

“You’re welcome for both, Sir.” He smirked.

There was a comfortable atmosphere now. Things have changed since the morning. “Feeling better?” 

Alex shifted his weight, leaning against the desk, “It’ll be a long day, Sir.”

Washington moved his hand over Alex’s. “I’m here for you, if you need it.” 

Alex turned to look at him and smiled a little, “I know. I may go back to my apartment after work, if that’s alright, Sir.”

“Of course, you clearly need to talk to someone.” 

“I will, talk to you that is, I just-”

George chuckled a little, amused by Alex’s temper, “That’s not what I meant, it’s ok. I don’t mind.” He lowered his voice a little, “Will you be home for dinner?”

“Depending on what time I get off, hopefully. Speaking of which, what is there you need me to do?”

“There are a few things that are on your desk. You know how this time of year is, no one in the senate actually wants to do their job.” 

“Easy, Sir. I’m as annoyed about that as you are. I should go work on that though.” He turned to head out the door, only to whip back around, “Oh, almost forgot.” He reached into his bag, pulling out an envelope, “Von  Steuben passed me in the hall, said to give this to you.”

Washington groaned, “This either means good news, or terrible news.” 

“Then I’ll let you get to it, Sir.” He walked all the way to the door, but stopped once his hand reached the handle. 

“And, SIr.” 

“Yes?” Washington spoke, still glaring at the unopened letter. 

“Thank you.”

Washington could only smile, as Alex crept out the door, closing it gently behind him. 

***

He’d had the letter pushed to the edge of his desk for a solid twenty minutes now. Keeping himself busy with little, almost meaningless tasks. But there really was no putting it off any longer. Frederick Von Steuben, only sent letters to Washington, if something serious had happened. 

_ An e-mail can be traced, recovered even, hacked too. But you can burn letters.  _ Washington remembered him saying. 

He finally picked up the damned paper and opened it. 

“Well, so much for a boring week.”

***

“Thank you for meeting me down here. gentlemen and lady.”

They were down in the hideaway. Laf, Peggy, Alex, and of course Washington. He told his three staffers, rather abruptly, to meet down here ten minutes ago. He said it was a political emergency. 

“Of course, Sir. It’s not like we were doing much anyway.” Laf chided.

“Yes, well that’s about to change.” Washington placed the letter in the center of his desk, for all of them to see. “This morning, Von Steuben sent me a letter detailing a plan of a few conservatives. This group plans to pass the bill on green card restrictions, before winter recess.”

“But, Sir.” Alex interjected, “I thought that wasn’t going to be a problem. Last time you mentioned it you said there were enough votes for it not to pass.”

“That was true, at the time. But, I also thought that it’d be after the recess. The problem with rushing this bill is that everyone wants to get out of here, some may not even take the time to thoroughly think through their vote.”

“What!” Peggy cried, “You mean to tell me that they’ll just vote yes because they’re too lazy to read the damned thing? Wouldn’t it be the other way around, shouldn’t it mean they’d vote no?”

Washington let out a heavy sigh, “Voting yes, makes it look like you know what you’re talking about. I do agree with you, sometimes it’s rather infuriating how this process ends up working.”  

Lafayette stood up from his chair and now began to pace about the room, “So, how can we fix this? You’ve said yourself, the bill is almost harmless, easily dismissable.”

“Not anymore. Von Steuben wrote  that they’ve added to it. If the bill passed it would not only affect future green card holders, but american citizens.”

“How, Sir?” ALex said, very confused.

“It would make it so, immigrants who hold a legal american citizenship, would have to wait five years before gaining voting rights in major elections.”

The three eorw the exact same look of bewilderment. 

Laf stopped dead in his tracks, “What?” 

“That has to be illegal. Who would even want to put that in?” Peggy said.

“Well, if this bill went through, it would mean that anyone who gets a citizenship in the coming year wouldn’t be able to vote in the next presidential election. Which would be a beneficial to the republican party.” Washington deadpanned.

Peggy and Laf stood there, still even more confused than before. 

Alex elaborated, “Because it would take out a large group of immigrants, who in past elections have tended to vote democratic.” 

Laf scand through the letter once more, “This bill is an utter disgrace. What do we do now, Sir?”

“I’ve scheduled a meeting with Frederick, that should take place in an hour or so. We’ll spend the day hashing out details for a plan to combat this.” 

“So, what do  _ we  _ do, Sir?” Alex asked.

“All of you, are dismissed for the day.” 

“What!” Peggy jumped up from the couch, “Shouldn’t we be finding out as much as we can about this? Shouldn’t we be doing  _ something _ ?” 

Washington moved over to sit behind the desk, landing with a sigh, “I don’t believe there’s nothing you can do at the moment. All of you should go home, get some rest. I’ll need you back tomorrow, full rested and ready to fight this bill.”

Laf, who was sulking in the back corner, spoke up,”Well, I’m going to go get a drink, would anyone like to join me?”

Washington let out a low chuckle, “Isn’t it a bit early in the day for that, Son?”

“I think the situation more than calls for it, SIr.” 

“I’ll come,” Peggy said moving towards the door, “But I’d better not wake up with a hangover tomorrow.”

“Coming, Alex?” 

Alex looked towards Washington, looking for approval of some kind, “I’ll meet you up there in a minute.” 

Lafayette shrugged and proceeded to walk out the door. Leaving Alex and Washington alone in the hideaway. 

“Well, this sucks.” Alex laughed. 

“Heh, yes it does, my boy.” He looked Alex in the eyes, “Come over here.”

Alex walked around the desk, over to him, sitting in his chair. Washington placed both hands on Alex’s hips and pulled him down so that he was now straddling George’s thighs. 

Alex laughed, speaking softly, “What’s this for?”

Washington just hummed in response, moving his hand up to brush a strand of Alex’s hair out of his face. “Nothing, I just thought this week was going to be easier for the two of us.” 

Alex shifted his weight, adjusting to make things more comfortable, “It’ll be ok. This bill is ridiculous, I’m sure you can find a way out.” Alex noticed Washington’s face grow dimmer. “Unless, that’s not what you’re worried about, Sir.”

“Are you ok, Alexander?” 

He tried to laugh it off, but it came off as forced, You’ve got to stop worrying about me.”

George didn’t laugh, he just continued to look Alex in the eyes, “Alex, stop deflecting the question.”  he said, gently.

Alex didn’t say anything for a minute, instead he lowered his head down to rest on Washington’s shoulder. 

He started to pet Alex’s hair, “Would you like to talk about it, son?”

“Not here, not now.” George understood. He knew Alex would tell him when he was ready and regardless of when, he would be there for him. He felt Alex, ontop of him, breathing in deeply, most likely to keep from panicking or possibly crying. 

_ Whatever this is, it must be bad.  _ George thought, gripping him tighter, wishing he could make the pain go away. 

They sat there for a few more minutes, soaking in the serenity of the calm, quiet hideaway. So many things had happened here, so many memories, so many moments George and Alex got to steal away together, in the privacy of this place.(After the whole tape debacle happened and George had his own security cameras installed, with footage only he had access to. Easily erasable footage, too.) It wasn’t long before there was a knock on the door. 

“George, open up. It’s freezing in this hallway and I know you have a space heater in there.” It was Friedrich Von Steuben, and to say he was in one of his moods, was putting it lightly. 

“One second, Friedrich.” Washington turned back to Alex, who was placed in his lap. “Ill see you tonight.” A simple statement more than a question, really.

“Of course. I really should go, Laf and Peggy are probably waiting.” Alex said and was pulled into a goodbye kiss. He proceeded to get off of Washington’s lap, straightened up his attire, and headed for the door. He opened it to a very distressed, yet somehow still looking sublime, Von Steuben. 

“Ah, Alexander, always nice to see my favorite of George’s staffers.” he said, stepping closer towards him. “How have you been doing, recently?” It was no secret Von Steuben had taken a…  _ special interest  _ in Alex, he practically pounced on him when George brought Alex to one of Von’s boat charity events, a few months ago. George was less than thrilled but Alex found it quite amusing. 

Before he even got the chance to respond, Washington cut in, the possessiveness plagued his voice, “Unfortunately, Alex was just on his way out.” He had to refrain from smiling when he saw Von practically pouting at the information.

Alex is his, and his alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reference to Von Steuben's boat is from a collection of drabbles that @rillrill also wrote, called, Stay Inside Our Rosy-Minded Fuzz. 
> 
> If this ending seemed a bit odd, it'll make sense as the story progresses. It's to show how George feels about Alex. And if anyone's worried, George is just normal possessive, not to the point where it'd creepy or unhealthy. 
> 
> As always, feel free to comment and leave kudos. And feel free to send me a message on tumblr if you wanna chat!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George worries either too much or just enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! New chapter!
> 
> Huge thanks because to @Librarified2004 (Tumblr) for test reading this because of her, this chapter is 100 times better! 
> 
> No trigger warnings, except a whole lot of a worried George.

George was in his office. It had been a long day. The meeting ran for hours, at least now there was a solid plan. It would surely keep them busy for the rest of the week. But it was part of the job, and god, did Washington love his job. Even if it meant leaving the office at eight PM, when he hoped he’d get to take Alex out for proper date, it’d been almost two months since they did that. Though he’d settle for a few quiet hours alone with his boy. 

He gathered all his things and sent a quick text to Alex, letting him know he’d be home soon. It was odd that he hadn’t received any messages from Alex. It was probably just because he knew George would be in the meeting all day and didn’t want to distract him. He was always thinking that way. 

He got into his car, checking his phone one more time to see if there was a response from Alex. Only to find a blank screen. He’d usually text back right away, but George put it to the back of his mind, he was going to be home soon enough. Putting the phone away, he started the car.

 

As George drove home, he turned up the radio, which was playing classical holiday music, and soaked in the moment of peace he was granted. It was a good thing he was comfortable driving in snow; there had been so much of it for the past few days. He tried to keep his mind on the road, but he couldn’t help it when it wandered to Alex. What was it that was making his so uneasy lately? Why did Alex say John  _ remembers  _ it? Whatever the case, he knew Alex would overcome it, he always did. His resilience is one of the things George loved most about him.

He eased into his parking space and made it up to his apartment a little quicker than usual. 

“Alexander, I’m back.” He expected the man to come running out of wherever he was, like he did on the very rare occasions when he left before George did. But, no one came.

“Alex?” he called out. He took a look around. No signs of Alex anywhere, and his bag wasn’t where he normally put it. He checked his phone, still nothing. He tried to ignore the worry bubbling within him. It was very possible Laf got him drunk and he was resting at Peggy’s or Lafayette’s place. So, he sent Alex a text, making sure to use his personal phone.

 

**To Alexander:**

**(8:12 PM)**

I’m back at the apartment. 

Wondering where you are.

No worries. Just checking in to make sure you’re ok.

 

He put down the phone and headed into the kitchen, thinking that cooking could take his mind off of things. He started flipping through and old cookbook, gathering up the ingredients, getting the stove ready. However, it didn’t help. He knew he was being irrational, but images of Alex lying beside a dumpster, beat up, behind a bar, kept flashed through his head. He’d told George about the bar fights he’d gotten into in college and how brutal they’d get. How close a few of them got to  _ permanent _ injury. 

_ No,  _ George thought.  _ Lafayette and Peggy were with him. They would have prevented such a thing. Or quite possibly, provided backup. They’d take care of him. _

He never worried about ALex too much. He knew that the man had grown up on the streets of New York, he’d experienced street violence first hand, had even been roughed up a few times. To Alex, DC was nothing. But that didn’t stop George’s concern; he just wanted him to be safe. Normally, Alex came home the same time as George, he never even had to think of it. Today was different. Today, he hadn’t heard a thing from in hours. Now, it was late on a cold December night and no sign of Alex anywhere. It was reasonable for George to be concerned. He hoped it was.

He needed to put his fear at ease. He opted to listen to the news that was on in the background and focus on cutting up the ingredients. It didn’t help either, scenes of Alex being hurt, mugged, alone, even dead came repeatedly through his mind. 

Everytime he heard a person in the hall, he jumped, thinking it was Alex. His heart sank when they kept walking past George’s door. The news was helping right up until it started talking about a subway crash that happened an hour ago. He wasn’t even sure if it was a DC subway or if it was the one Alex took. He was already worried about Alex this morning, how upset he was and now he was terrified that he could be physically hurt now too. At this point the worry was becoming unbarable. 

Enough was enough. He picked up his phone to call Alex and finally put his worry to rest. When he looked at the screen he realized it had been almost twenty minutes since he texted Alex. 

The phone began to ring. George noticed his heartbeat picking up.

It rang again.

_ He always picks up. _

It rang again.

Finally, George heard someone pick up the line.

“Alexander, where are you?” He kept his voice level, there was panic in it, but no sign of anger. 

“Oh, hey … Washington.” It wasn’t Alex. It was John Laurens, his voice was a bit weird. 

_ Right, Alex mentioned he was going to talk to John today.  _ George thought.

“Hello, John. May I ask, why you have Alex’s phone?” 

“Right. Well, he went down the street to get something to eat for us, a little while ago. We have the same phone case so he must have taken mine by accident.” John sounded calm, weird but calm. That was definitely a good sign. 

“So, he’s still with you then?” He wasn’t angry. He just thought Alex would’ve let him know.

“Yeah, I mean he can’t really get back uptown, tonight.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well they- Oh hey, ALex is back, you should probably talk to him.” George waited as he heard the shifting of the phone go from John to Alex. 

“George, hey! Sorry, for not calling, I tried earlier but your phone was off.” There was something in the way he talked. It was rushed, a little dry too. He only talked this way when he was nervous. 

George mentally took a sigh of relief, “ Alexander, Love, don’t worry I’m not mad. I was just getting worried. I’m just glad that you’re ok, Princess.”

“Wait, you were worried? Oh, god, George I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to up-”

“Alexander.”

“Yes?

“Breathe, it’s ok.” George kept his voice low and warm, “Do you want me to come drive and get you? The roads aren’t too bad and the subway must be freezing, by now.”

He heard Alex sighed on the other end, “Oh, well. They shut down the roads here an hour ago. I’m kinda snowed in. I think it’s best if I just stay here for the night. If that’s ok with you.”

“That’s unfortunate, but yes, if it’s safer then you should just stay there. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” He was disappointed he’d be away from Alex, but he wasn’t willing to put their safety at risk. Besides, it wasn’t like this sort of thing hadn’t happened before. 

“Yeah, I’ll see you then.” There was pain in his voice, George didn’t know where it was from.

“It’s ok Alexander. Things will be ok. I love you.” 

“I love you, too. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Alex, and please get some sleep.”

“I’ll try.” 

George set the phone down. He turned back to the stove. Things would be ok. He knew that. But it didn’t change the fact that he also knew Alex, his Alex, was hurting, and he couldn’t do a thing to help that tonight. He turned his mind to focusing on the positive. Thinking about their vacation. All the gifts he had lined up for Alex. Every thing he planned to  _ do _ to his boy. It truly would be a grand time and now there will only be four days to get through. 

It was hard to sleep that night. He couldn’t tell if the heat was out. All he knew is that a bed is colder with only one person in it. 

  
  
  
  


****Alex and John****

Alex reluctantly hung up the phone. 

“Really, your contact for him is  _ Daddy” _

_ “ _ Don’t judge me.”

“I’m your best friend. What do you think I’m here for?”

Alex took a deep sigh, “A lot. Thanks for taking that for me.”

John moved to put his arm around Alex and let him rest his head on John’s shoulders. 

“It’s ok. It’s what I’m here for. But why’d you make me take the phone?”

Alex brought his hands up to rub his eyes, “I don’t know, I panicked.”

“I get it. We shouldn’t have lied to him though.”

“We didn’t lie, the roads are closed, I did go to the restaurant across the street, I did take your phone by accident.” It was true, only it happened a few hours ago when Alex came over. 

John’s jus looked down at him, “Alex. You should tell him. No. You need to tell him.”

“I know.” he started to shake, “I’m just afraid that he’ll leave me.”

They sat there in silence a little while longer. Letting the feeling of dread hang over them. Alex thought he’d be warm under a mound of blankets and John’s arms wrapped around him. But he couldn’t help the chil that was enveloping his body. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did Alex lie to George? Why wouldn't he pick up his damn phone? Why was he in a bed with John? Will Washington ever stop worrying? Will this fic ever stop being so vague? Will I ever stop asking rhetorical questions??? 
> 
> Keep reading to find out y'all!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, have a grand day!
> 
> I'm @rain-and-roses-in-the-city if you'd like to come yell at me or discuss things


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's been a while. I took a trip and couldn't write much. But on the bright side of things, I figured out where this fic is going. Some tags may be changed, a few more added, take a look if you're easily triggered please!
> 
> Ok, so refresher, Alex went over at his old apartment and stayed cause the roads were shut down. Washington and his team are fighting a bill that would put heavy restrictions on Green cards and visas, it would also make it so new citizens aren't allowed to vote until having their citizenship for five years. 
> 
> Also another HUGEEEE THANK YOU to @LadyReisling for reading through all of this and making this fic so much better by listening to me rant about it!!!! You're the greatest!!!
> 
> Ok, here we gooooo.....

It was cold. That was the first thing George noticed when he woke up. It was cold without a small, underfed Caribbean man tucked against his chest. Alex barely had enough meat on his bones to keep himself warm, much less someone else, but George missed the heat that radiated off his lover when they shared a bed, no matter how little the amount. He just sighed and got up to perform his morning routine. 

He briefly considered shooting Alex a good morning text, but decided against it. With Alex’s anxiety off the charts lately, what he thought was endearing, Alex might take as passive aggressive. He’d see him soon enough at work. That night,  George would take Alex home; he could make them dinner; give Alex some wine; maybe just curl up on the couch and de-stress for an hour or so. They’d  talk and  work through this.

George pulled on his coat and tucked in his scarf. The snow had only gotten worse overnight. The entire city was laced, yet again, with a thick veil of white. The temperature had dropped far below freezing, with no signs of going up. He prayed that Alex remembered to take his coat after leaving the office the other day. Knowing him, the poor boy would be freezing in this weather.   

 

***

 

When George arrived at  the office, no one was there. All the lights were off, the main door  locked. No sign of any of his three staffers. He checked his watch, but he wasn’t early and he sure as hell wasn’t late. He could understand lateness every now and then, sometimes it was unavoidable, but from all three of them on the same day? Something could've happened. But then again, maybe it was just the weather.

He walked into his office, turning on the lights and shrugging off his jacket. Putting his briefcase on his desk, his eyes flickered to a small pink piece of paper with rushed, yet delicate, handwriting on the edge of it. He picked it up hesitantly,  _ Lord let it not be more bad news _ . 

 

_ Senator Washington, _

_ I’m very sorry.  A family emergency has come up.. I won’t be able to come in today. I lost my phone the other day. If you  need to reach me you can contact my sister, Eliza,. I don’t have her number off the top of my head but Alex  and I believe your wife, have it. I know it’s one of the worst possible weeks to be doing this, so if there's anything you need done, please e-mail it to me and I will try my best to get to it. _

_ Sincerely sorry, _

_ Peggy Schuyler _

 

She was right, it  _ was _ one of the worst weeks to be understaffed. But your loved ones must always come first. Washington knew that. He picked up his phone and sent a quick text to Eliza to tell her sister that he understood her situation and wished them well. Taking a last glance at his phone, he realized Alex hadn’t tried to get in touch with him. That was most definitely not a good sign. 

The note explained Peggy’s absence, but Lafayette and Alexander were still missing. It was well past eight and they should be here by now. Even on the rare occasion where Lafayette was late, it was never more than fifteen minutes. Alex, well, Alex was never late. The nerves from last night were starting to creep back into his head and his stomach. 

Just then George heard a loud slam of a door, coming from the bullpen. He got up from behind his desk, moving to open the door. Then stopped. This wasn’t professional. Both his staffers were late. He needed to play the boss, and the boss wouldn’t rush to see a  _ late  _ employee. He turned back to his desk and decided to wait for the latecomer to walk in with his excuse.  

A weak knock came through his door. It was Alex. Washington could tell, the sound was meek, probably because he thought George was mad at him. 

“Come in,” he said, keeping his voice emotionless. 

With one look at Alex, all George’s professionalism shattered. He rushed out of his desk, nearly knocking over the chair and ran over to see his boy. Alex jolted to attention with Washington's fast movements. The poor man was violently shivering. He had a giant pink swelling lump on his forehead.. His eyes, normally filled with passion, were bloodshot and shiny with unshed tears. 

When he spoke, his voice was rough and panicked. “Sorry I’m late, Sir. John’s car got snowed in and we had to take the train, but they got delayed. And then-”

“My god, Alex,” George cut him off. He took him by the shoulders, looking him up and down. “It’s fine that you’re late, it happens. But you’re hurt. Alex, you’re freezing, we need to warm you up before you catch a cold.”  

He couldn’t stop shaking, even with George’s arms wrapped around him, “I slipped and fell in a snowbank,  walking up the steps just a moment ago. It’s just a bump, not like it’s bleeding.”

George just looked down at the poor man, his head was damaged from the outside now too. “Come on, we’re going to the hideout, it’ll be a lot warmer there.”

 

***

 

Alex and George were sitting on the couch, Alex on George’s lap, wrapped up in a spare blanket George kept for nights he slept there. He had said it was for the warmth, but having Alex back in his grip was calming for both of them. Right now, they needed this.

Alex removed the ice pack from his head. “Sir - er- George, thanks for warming me up, but we’re at work. We really should be doing, ya know,  _ work _ .”

George looked down at him, “Are you ok?”

Alex snuggled closer,  his voice mildly annoyed. “Ok-ish. Can we not talk about it now? I get that you’re worried, but this is too much at the moment. We need to work.”

George raised an eyebrow, “What’s too much?”

“This, cuddling, we shouldn’t. Not here. We agreed not to do anything like this at work since the  _ almost _ scandal. Besides, you can’t ignore the bill, the mega important- could take away basic citizenship- rights bill- just to take care of me.”

“Shhh, relax.” He laughed a little and rested his chin within the nape of Alex’s neck, “The bill can wait five minutes. Now, are-you-ok?” He punctuated each word of the question with a kisses leading up Alex’s neck.

He hummed in response to George’s soft lips, “No.  But please, let’s just work, I don’t want to get into it now.”

“Ok, let’s work. We can stay down here for the day. Fewer distractions and it won’t be freezing.” He placed a final kiss, this time on the lips, and got up. “We need to strategize, find out who will vote yes and who will vote no. From there, we can find out who we need to persuade and who to-”

A thunderous knock came through the door. 

“Who-”

“Sir, it’s me, Lafayette, now open the door.”

George moved to unlock it, opening up to a very distressed man. Lafayette surged into the room and went straight to bottle of scotch that was off in the corner. 

Alex stared at him with wide eyes, “For godsakes Laff, what’s gotten into you? And isn’t it a little early to be drinking?”

Laff finished of his drink in one huge gulp and looked back at Alex, “I’m French,  _ mon ami,  _ there is never not a time to be drinking. And with the information I’ve just received, the alcohol is more than called for.”

George spoke up, “This information being…”

“Von Steuben is sick, which means-”

“Which means the one other Senator with whom I spent the entirety of yesterday planning, is now no longer here. Meaning we are alone in this battle. Lafayette, pray tell, where did you hear this and how’d you get to be so late today?” Washington’s tone was steady but soaked in dread. 

Lafayette poured another glass, this time offering it to Washington. “Well, I swung by Von Steuben’s office today, to pick up the document you said he had for you. However, when I got there, no one was there. I spent almost an hour trying figure out why. I made at least a dozen calls before someone found the cell of a personal aide. He told me that Von Steuben was fine last night but woke up at three am with a terrible fever. He’ll be fine, it’s only a mild case of the flu, but he’s taking the rest of the week off. Doctor’s orders.”

Washington was quiet, he just placed a hand on the side of his head, rubbing it to ease the headache he could feel coming on. Alex felt the need to break the silence, “Um, Sir, what’s our plan of action from here?”   
He looked up, no trace of the loving gleam in his eyes that was there when they were alone only moments ago. Now he just looked tired.

He spoke, tone matching his eyes, “Lafayette, I need you to find out all you can about this bill. Start coming up with reasons, other than the obvious, to strike it down. Call some of your contacts, see what the latest word about it around the Hill is.”

“Yes, Sir.” Lafayette promptly exited, wasting no time.

Washington looked back at Alex, who at the moment just wanted to do  _ something  _ to help.

“What do you need me to do, Sir?”

“I need you to do what I hoped was going to be a two-person job for us: Figure out who’s on our side. Luckily, Friedrich left a digital list for me, but not everyone's on it, so there will still be a lot of work left to do.”

“Not a problem, Sir. I’ll head upstairs and get started right away.” He moved to exit, but George blocked the doorway. “Sir?”

Washington looked down at him, a bit of whimsy returning to his dark eyes. “Stay down here. I know you prefer it and it really is warmer.”

Alex scoffed. “You worry too much. But if it makes you happy, well, you’re the boss here.” 

“I’ll see you in several hours. I have to go attend to other matters besides this godforsaken bill. I’ll see you later, Princess.” He pulled Alex into a quick hug, placing a kiss on top his head. 

“Try not to miss me too much, Daddy,” he said, flashing a teasing smile. 

If time wasn’t so limited, Washington would have taken Alex over his desk, right then and there. But time was running out and he had to leave.

 

***

 

It was nearly ten when George finished up all the work. He had sent Lafayette home a few minutes ago. He’d done all he could and Washington had to force him home before he collapsed. They’d made headway today: Laff found some errors in the bill that could be used to take it down. Not to mention the plan cost over two million dollars of government money. Honestly, so many years in the Senate and George would’ve thought he’d be used to bullshit like this. He couldn’t help but marvel at the hate that swarmed this place. But that’s why he became a politician, to put these fear mongering, hate-motivated people in their place.

Washington headed down to the hideaway to get Alexander and take him back to the apartment. There would still be time to make him dinner and watch some TV, just to unwind. More importantly, time to talk with Alex. 

He approached the door, deciding to knock as to not catch Alex completely off guard. He didn’t wait for an answer and pushed open the door. He was expecting to see the man hunched over the desk with ink coating his fingers and papers scattered about. The desk was indeed cluttered with papers, but no Alex hunched over them.

“Alexander, are you in here?” Washington asked. He wasn’t too worried, Alex very well could’ve left to go use the bathroom or get water or  _ god forbid  _ get food for once. Yes. Those were all very reasonable explanations. Washington would just wait until he got back an-

He was taken out of his thoughts by a loud, muffled, sobbing noise that came from the desk. He immediately crossed the room and there was Alexander, under the desk, his knees up to his chest with his arms securing them tightly there. He burrowed his head in his knees as deep as he could get. Quaking. That was the term that came to mind when George saw just how much his boy was shaking. He knew what this meant, when Alex curled up like this, it was nothing he couldn’t handle. After the first time George had found him like this, he had made sure that Alex talked him through the best way to approach him and calm him down. Alex’s panic attacks were scarce. Or, they used to be.

George slowly sat down to get on his boy’s level. Alex didn’t react, showed no signs of even realizing the man’s presence. He didn’t even flinch, George felt his heart shrink.  

George spoke soft and cautiously, “Alexander, love, can you hear me?”  

Alexander didn’t respond, just continued to shake.

George moved his hand to rest on the Alex’s knee. Alex recoiled in horror, slamming against the back of the desk, jerking away from the touch. 

George heard him muttering over and over, “I’ll do it, James… just stop and I’ll do it.”

_ Who’s James?  _ George thought. The only people that came to mind were Madison and Alex’s father. There was no time to think on it now. Right now bringing Alex back down was all that mattered.

“You’re in deep, Alexander. You’re safe. You’re with me, I’m George and you’re safe. Just try to breathe with me, baby, deep breath in- and out- in and out.” He made his voice sweet, as if it were honey. Alex attempted to breathe with him, failing, unable to stop sobbing. It was a breath and then a sob, a breath and a sob. It seemed like ages, but George just kept repeating himself until finally Alex’s breath returned to an almost normal rate, but the shaking just wouldn’t stop. “That’s it, sweetie, just keep breathing, it’s all going to be alright. Now how about trying to lift your head up?”

Alex tilted his head out of his knees. He kept his eyes down; they were bloodshot and glassy. His face was flushed and tearstained, his forehead beaded with sweat. George’s could hear his heart breaking in his chest. 

Alex spoke in a whimper, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

George couldn’t help it when his face fell, “Don’t be. It might be best if you tried to come out from under there now.” Alex hesitated, but crawled over to George. “May I hold you?” George pleaded.

He received a vigorous nod from Alex. George propped his back up against the wall and motioned for Alex to come sit in his lap. He knew if he tried to get up and move to the couch Alex would most likely fall down immediately after standing. He buried his head on the crook of George’s neck, letting tears fall onto royal blue cotton. 

“I finished the work.” he choked out.

George held the urge to laugh, of course that’s the first thought that would come to Alex’s brain. Instead he kept his face serious and spoke, “Alexander, it’s alright, I knew you would. You’re always my reliable boy, isn’t that right?”

“Alway, Sir. I will always b-be...at your s-side.” he sobbed. His tears started to pick up again and the shaking grew. George’s heart dropped as he realized what Alex had just called him. 

“Shhhh, I know, I know, It’s alright,” George moved a hand to cradle the back of his head, “I’m here. You’re safe. I’m with you. Daddy’s here.” George let out a soft laugh. He felt a warm glow when he heard the faintest laugh come from his boy. “You’re so wonderful,  _ my  _ Alexander. Always so reliable, trustworthy, passionate to a fault.” George grazed his fingers under Alex’s chin to hold his head up. He moved to kiss away his boy’s tears. 

The crying calmed back down and George ran a hand up and down Alex’s back to help with the shaking. 

“What time is it?” Alex asked, quietly.

George glanced at his wrist, even though Alex had a perfectly good watch of his own. “It’s ten-twenty seven. How long ago did it start?”

“Two hours maybe.” 

_ Two hours.  _ That’s maybe the longest George has ever heard. Alex must be exhausted, mentally and physically. George felt the urge to ask what set this off. Wanted to ask why Alex didn’t try to call him. But he knew it would plunge Alex back under. The answers weren’t worth it, at the moment. 

After a few minutes, George asked, “Would you like to move over to the couch, love?” 

Alex brought his head up a little and nodded, too out of it to speak. George lifted them both off the ground and walked over to the couch, settling Alexander down as gently as he could.

  
George went over to the mini fridge in the corner, grabbing a cooled bottle of water. 

  
"Here, you should drink something." He handed Alex the bottle and took a seat next to him, letting Alex lean into him. George took out Alex's pony-tail, Alex always put them on too tight, he ran his fingers through his boy’s hair, and massaged his scalp. 

  
"Have you eaten today?" He asked.

  
Alex shifted more into his side, "John brought me a sandwich."

  
"That was kind of him." 

  
"Well, he texted me to take lunch break and when I said I was busy, he came down and made me eat."

  
George smiled. He should've known Alex would work through lunch. "I'll make you dinner when we get home. Speaking of which, we should probably get out of here."

  
Alex gave a small nod. George stood up, reaching a hand out for help. Alex slid his hand into George's, giving a weary smile, and pushed himself off the couch. His legs wobbled and gave out. He collapsed into George's embrace.  

  
Fresh tears trailed down his cheeks. "I'm sorry, I feel pathetic." 

  
George just moved Alex into a bridal style carry. He looked into Alex's eyes, "You're not pathetic. You're just exhausted. Let's go home, my boy." He kissed his forehead.

  
Alex hummed, "Mmm, ok Daddy....you may want to put me down now...."

  
"I don't think that's the best idea, you’ll most likely fall again. I can carry you, it's not far." 

  
"But won't somebody see us? And the security camera-"

  
"Don't worry, everyone left hours ago and the guard on watch today is a friend. Use my phone, text Brian Rodriguez, 'code purple.'"

  
Alex grabbed George's phone from his front pocket, "What's code purple?" 

  
"It shuts off the cameras for a maintenance sweep."

  
They waited until Brian texted back that they were cleared for ten minutes. Plenty of time to get to the car.   
George walked them out, Alex nestling deeply into his chest, keeping his eyes locked on George the whole time. 

_ How did I ever get so lucky?  _ Alex wondered as George put him down in the passenger seat. 

 

  
***

 

  
The drive was smooth. George drove slowly, careful of the ice. The heating was on full blast. Alex stared out the window, seeing passing buildings, fully decked with tinsel and holly. Decorations shimmered under the soft cast of the moon.   
At a red light, George turned his head to look at his boy. He put a hand on Alex's thigh, squeezing lightly, reminding him he was there.    
Alex turned to face George, smiling warmly when their eyes met. George brought his hand up to Alex's cheek and slowly lowered his boy’s head onto his shoulder. 

“I love you,” Alex mumbled, eyes sliding closed.

George put his hand back on the steering wheel, “I love you, too, Alexander.”

The light turned green, and they drove. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .....Poor Alex. 
> 
>  
> 
> Next chapter will be a bit shorter and not too much better for Alex. See you next time and THANKS FOR READING!!! Comments and kudos always appreciated!!!
> 
> I'm @rain-and-roses-in-the-city over on tumblr if you ever want to chat!!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George and Alex come home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty much just full on h/c. Sorry for the wait!!! And thank you as always to my wonderful amazing awesome beta!!!!
> 
> Here's the image of what I picture George's bathroom to look like, http://odeon-mebel.by/_pu/6/40659645.jpg

This late at night, there wasn’t much traffic, so the drive didn’t take long. George helped Alex get out of the car, keeping a hand on the small of his back all the way up to the apartment. When they reached the door, he turned the key, holding it open for Alex to stagger inside.

“What would you like for dinner, Princess?”

Alex slowly took off his jacket, noticeably cringing at the mention of food, “Preferably nothing.”

George took his coat to hang up, “Stomach upset?” 

Alex hummed in agreement. George pulled Alex close, laid a steadying hand on his shoulder. Alex was freezing and he was turning a ghostly shade. George prayed that he wasn’t coming down with the same thing Von Steuben had. There were mentions of the flu going around the Hill. Whatever the case, Alex needed him.

“How about some noodles, plain and simple?”

Alex leaned into the touch, “Ok.”

George forced a smile, “Would you like to lie down on the couch?” 

“Yes, p-please.” he stuttered. George slung his arm over his shoulder and helped him over to the couch. He laid Alex down with care and grabbed the throw blanket, tucking him in, hoping it would ease the shaking. 

“Sweetheart,” he cupped Alex’s cheek with his hand, “it’s going to be ok. I promise.” There was something in Alex eyes, George could see it but couldn’t place it. Alex’s body language clearly said that he didn’t believe George, but for the moment, George was more worried about Alex’s physical state, which radiated pain and misery. He lingered there for a moment, raising his hand to card through Alex’s hair, then leaned down to brush his lips across his boy’s clammy forehead. “Rest a few minutes. Try and warm up. I’ll be right back.”

George moved off the couch and headed to the kitchen to put on a pot of water. As he waited for it to boil, he went into the bathroom and started a bath for Alex. After fifteen minutes of swapping between the bath and the noodles, making sure they were both perfect, he turned of the water to the tub and walked back to the couch with a bowl of pasta. Alexander was no longer laid out; now he was shriveled up in the corner of the couch, holding his head in his hands. 

“C-can you turn off the lights, p-please?” he asked.

George’s face fell as he realized what was happening. “Of course, baby.” He switched them off, leaving the apartment illuminated by the lonely glow of street lamps peeking through the widows, and walked back over to Alex. George set down the bowl on the coffee table and sat next to him. Alex didn’t appear to notice. 

He placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Do you have a migraine coming on?”

“No, it’s not  _ that _ bad.” Alex moved into George’s side instinctively. “But my head won’t stop throbbing.” 

George knew what Alex was doing. He was downplaying the systems in his head; he didn’t want to have one because it would only make George worry even more. While this wasn’t nearly as severe as past ones he’d seen Alex have, it was undeniably a migraine. Alex was sweating through his clothes and at the same time freezing to the touch, he couldn’t walk without wincing, his eyes were screwed shut to avoid light, the list only went on. Not to mention that Alex was twitching, no doubt from muscle spasms, a result of spending two hours under a desk curled into a ball. He was mentally and physically exhausted;, every part of his body hurt; and on top it all he had a migraine, George just wanted to grab his medicine and do whatever it took to get him to feel better, but he knew Alex needed to come to these realizations on his own. George would force him home from work if he thought Alex had one, but forcing medicine on him was something entirely different. 

“Here.” George brought the bowl to Alex’s hands. “You’ll feel a bit better after you eat.”

Alex took the bowl out of George’s hands as if he were handling a bomb. He stared at it in disgust.“I don’t know, I feel like I’m going to throw up.” 

George sighed, “How ‘bout just a few bites. I’ll feed it to you if you want, please, Princess. For me?” he gave him a pathetic attempt at puppy dog eyes. 

“Only ‘cause i-it’ll make you stop worrying.” 

George brought the fork to Alex’s mouth. He hesitantly parted his lips and accepted the food, wincing with every bite. Shuddering after he swallowed. 

“Is it too much?” George asked. 

“N-no, it’s ok.” 

George swirled some more noodles onto the fork, “I’ll make airplane noises, if it helps.”

Alex laughed, deciding the resulting pain  was worth it. “You’re utt-utterly ridiculous.” Alex loved it when George acted this way. He was always so serious at the office, it was always ‘Sir’ or ‘Senator Washington,’ not just for Alex but for everyone. When he was working, he exuded importance, and everyone treated as such. But at home was different: at home he was Alex’s, free to be ridiculous and dare he say a bit of a goofball and  _ his _ . Alex snuggled in closer, a faint smile forming at the memories.

George rose the fork to meet Alex’s mouth again, triggering another round of wincing and shuddering. 

Alex whimpered, “Sorry, i-it  hurts.” 

George cupped Alex’s cheek and gently turned his head, feeling bad when Alex flinched from the movement. He looked into Alex’s eyes, “Don’t apologize, you’re ok. Are you sure you aren’t getting a migraine?” This was another symptom: Alex got terrible nausea during a migraine, could hardly keep anything down for days afterwards. 

“...Maybe.” 

George’s eyes narrowed, “Alexander.” His voice sounded sterner than he meant it to be.

“Please,” he squeaked, “please, don’t be mad. Everything’s so fuzzy, I really can’t tell.” There was fear in his eyes. George realized he needed to back off. Alex was in no mood to be lectured, not that George was planning to.

He sighed, “I’m not mad, I just want to help. Do you think it’s bad enough to take your medication?”

Alex took a moment to consider. “Yeah.” 

“I’ll go get it. You really do need to eat a little then. You shouldn’t take them on an empty stomach, it’ll only make it worse.”

“I know.” Alex said, resigned, just acknowledging the facts.

George kissed Alex on top his head and went to retrieve the pills. When he came back he saw Alex staring at his phone, shaking violently. He quickly made his way over, putting a hand on the wrist that held the phone. 

“Sweetheart,” he made sure to keep his voice loving this time, “you shouldn’t be looking at your phone, it will  hurt your eyes.”

Alex didn’t respond. George glanced at the phone and saw the screen open to Alex’s messages before the phone shut off to black.

“Alex...Alexander, can you hear me?” He sat down and kept his eyes on Alex. He ran his knuckles up and down his boy’s back. His poor boy was still freezing and George could feel the immense tension that was growing in his muscles. Alex was shaking as hard as he was when he came out from under the desk. This couldn’t be happening. George couldn’t just let him slip back under. Alex was doing so well. He just sat there with him, running his knuckles up and down, applying slight pressure to calm him but not add to the pain.

Once the shaking eased up yet again, he spoke in a hushed tone: “It’s ok, you’re safe.” Repeating the comforting words until Alex came back down to earth and slumped back into George’s side.

George knew something was weighing heavy on his mind, something that involved another person by evidence of a text that sent him into shock. “I don’t mean to ask this in a rude way, but would you like to wait to have the issue be discussed tomorrow, or do you need to get it off your mind now?”

Alex whipped his head to meet him. An act he immediately regretted as it sent a shockwave of pain throughout his body. He melted even more into George’s side. “What?”

“I can tell something is going on, but you’re in no state to talk about anything. Would you like to talk about it now or wait till morning?.” he kissed Alex’s forehead and draped an arm around his shoulder to remind him he wasn’t mad. 

Alex’s lip quivered and eyes blurred, “I...I’m so sorry.” The tears came again, he just couldn’t hold back any longer. 

“Shh, shh, it’s ok, baby.” He pulled Alex into his chest and rested his head gently beneath his chin, “Whatever it is we can fix it, together. It’s nothing we haven’t done before. We’re fighters.”  _ And I’d fight anything for you,  _ He added in his head.

Alex was trembling against him. They stayed like that for a moment, soaking in the quiet.

“I love you.” Alex whispered.

“I love you, too.”

“It can wait till tomorrow. I-I can’t...dive into it right now.”

“I understand, I’m too tired to discuss anything at the moment.” George held him tighter. “Oh, almost forgot.” He graded the pill bottle and glass of water. “Here, when you’re ready and if you still need it.”

Alex took a long look at the tiny pills. He looked back to George, who gave him a reassuring smile. He took the pills and the water and swallowed the in one big swoop. A mistake since he recoiled in pain from the drastic movement.  

“Whoa, easy, sweetheart. Don’t aggravate your symptoms.” George was getting even  _ more _ worried. “I drew a bath for you, if you want it. You should probably wash off that cold sweat and it may help to relax you. I thought your head might be a bit sensitive for a shower.” 

The last time Alex tried to take a shower with a migraine, he felt like his head was going to explode. The rushing water sounded like rocks hitting metal. Not to mention, it felt like needles on his skin. Needless to say, it wasn’t enjoyable. 

“Yeah, but only if y-ou take it wi-with me.” Alex pleaded.

_ How could he deny his boy that?  _ George smiled softly, “Alright, Princess. Let’s get you up.” He gently lifted Alex and carried him into the bathroom. 

“Do you need any help?”

Alex fumbled with a button before getting it, “No, no I- I can do this.” George could hear the aggravation in his voice and knew he needed to prove to himself that he wasn’t entirely helpless. 

“I’m going to  get you some more water, and some chocolate.” 

Alex looked up in confusion, “Wait, why chocolate?”  _ Did his health-crazed boyfriend seriously own something like that? _

George smirked. “Because chocolate helps everything, of course.” It made Alex chuckle, which in turn made his chest warm. He went to grab the items and came back to Alex laid out in the tub, clothes in a heap  on the floor. Something he’d normally scold him for, but he wouldn’t dare to this time. George gave Alex the drink and small candy bar. He kneeled down to Alex’s level, “You still want me to join you, sweetie?”

“Please, Daddy. You’re so warm and I’m still freezing.” Alex tried to tease him with the pet name, but his voice dripped with pain. 

“Ok.” George stripped down and slid in behind Alex. He laid one hand low on Alex’s stomach and his other arm wrapped around his chest, holding him steady. “Is this comfortable?” Alex hummed in assent. “Would you like me to wash your hair, Princess?” 

“That’d be nice.” George reached for the bottle of shampoo. “George, could you, um, could you talk to me, please?”

“What do you mean?”

“The silence is a bit too silent. I need something to focus on besides the pain and your voice is just so... “

“Soothing?”

“Mm-hmm, it helps.”

George beamed, “Anything for you, my darling boy. Oh, look.” He directed Alex’s gaze out the window. It was snowing. The sight of the snow gracefully flying through the air, glowing under street lights, it was mesmerizing. “Doesn’t the snow look beautiful tonight, Alexander?”

Alex looked up at George, “Y-yeah. Beautiful.” 

George gave him a tender kiss on the lips. He moved Alex to a better position and started massaging the lavender scented product into his hair. As he worked through the tangles in his boy’s hair, he talked about their trip, how he was going to spoil Alex on Christmas, how he couldn’t wait to escape and go away with him. It was nice, he decided. The circumstances were far from ideal, but in the moment, it was nice. 

He had gone out to lunch with an advisor of his only last week to discuss his future in government. It was pretty much determined by now that he would run in three years for the Presidency. It was what he wanted, but he knew it meant only three more years with Alex before he’d be President and they would be separated. He’d fight to live with Alex right up until he moved into the White House, but once he announced his run, there would be cameras everywhere. There’d be no dates, no morning walk, no weekend getaways, no gifts. Although, George knew himself and probably knew he’d leave Alex a hundred gifts the day before the inauguration. 

It was possible they could get away with an occasional short break break up at Mount Vernon, so long as Martha and Eliza were there, too, and possibly Lafayette and Adrienne for good measure. Perhaps they’d make ‘strategy lunches’ into secret dates. But realistically,  if George won, he and Alex would be apart for four, possibly eight, years. George felt his stomach clench at the thought of not waking up to Alex every morning.

That’s why this Christmas counted so much to George. It was not only their first, but their first of three until…

“George?”

The sound of Alex’s voice broke him from his thoughts, “I’m sorry. What was that, dear?”

“Nothing, you just stopped talking and zoned out for a while. You ok?”

Right. He had gotten lost in thought. But he needed to remind himself of where he was. “Yes, I’m all good. Now where was I.“

“Something about traditions on Christmas Eve night.”

“Oh, yes. There’s Martha’s gingerbread cookies. She usually makes us wear these ridiculously cheesy holiday sweaters. I wouldn’t be surprised if she got one for each of us. Last year, she gave me one that had a Christmas tree that lit up. And of course we can incorporate any traditions you have,” he added.

“I don’t have any. On the island I celebrated Hanukkah. I don’t have any for Chr-Christmas.”

George held back a frown, “Then why don’t we make some of our own?”

Alex hummed at that. They sat there for a while longer, staring out the window at the gentle snow fall. The bath got cold and they got out. George immediately wrapped Alex in the fluffiest towel they had. He handed Alex one of his own largest sweaters, “I thought you’d like some clothes that aren’t tight to sleep in. And I don't think they’ve fixed the heating yet.” 

“I love you.” he chimed and put on the shirt. It reached down past his thighs, but it was soft and best of all, it wrapped him in the smell of George’s cologne. “Sleep?”

George put on his own pair of pajamas, “Yes. That sounds perfect.”

Alex weakly shuffled into bed, “I’m ok, for cuddling that is. I actually kind of need your warmth.”

George pulled back the sheets to join him. He came up behind Alex and waited for him to move into George’s arms. Alex had stopped shivering. He wasn’t feeling as cold. 

“Feeling better, Princess?”

Alex, half-asleep, mumbled, “Uh-huh, thanks, Daddy.”

George smiled down at his sleepy boyfriend. “No need to thank me. Goodnight, Alexander. I love you.”

“Mmm, I love you, too, Georgie, darlin’” 

George gave a light chuckle at the new pet name. He couldn’t help his smile when Alex nestled instinctively into his chest. 

It was almost one in the morning. They needed sleep. George laid his head down and his eyelids fluttered closed, letting the darkness and warmth from his boy drag him into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ow. Ok, I wish I could say the next chapter will be up faster, but to be honest it will be very long and I have to figure out a bunch of stuff with it so I can't make any promises. 
> 
> I'm really thankful to everyone reading this, please leave comments and kudos, they make me smile. And you can find me on tumblr @rain-and-roses-in-the-city !
> 
> Have a lovely day!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A recount of what happend last night & Alex reveals something

It was six in the and George Washington was wide awake. But Alexander was still peacefully asleep, curled into George’s side, and that all that mattered. The melatonin was still in effect and Alex was sleeping like a rock. George carefully untangled their bodies, doing everything in his power to keep his boy as still as possible. Alex squirmed a bit from the movement, George reached out to him and stroked his hair until he stilled.

He took one last look at his lover, brushing the hair out of his eyes.George held the back of his hand to his forehead, Alex’s fever from last night was gone. Good, but it didn’t mean he was anywhere near the picture of health. His shirt was damp from sweat, his lips were chapped, and his eyelids were puffy. George would have to leave a water bottle on the nightstand for when Alex woke up. Hopefully he wouldn’t wake up until noon. One thing was for certain, Alex would not be coming into work today.

George gracefully rose off of the bed and shuffled towards the shower.

George reached for the hot water knob, letting the scalding water cascade down his back. He rolled his shoulder’s back, hearing pops in several places. He was stiff just about everywhere. He could only imagine how bad Alex’s muscle’s must be after everything that happened in the past 24 hours.  There must be a way for him to work at home today, stay home and take care of Alex. It wasn’t unusual for senators to do at this time of the year, hell, half the senators were already out of town on early winter recess. George never did that, though, people would question, rumors would be spread. But Alex’s well-being mattered more at the moment. If he only- well, no that wouldn’t work- or- no he still had to meet with Greene before lunch- he scrolled through all of the possible options, nothing worked. As much as it pained him to leave Alex alone in his suffering, he had to go to work. Alex would be ok he’d probably be knocked out until noon. Perhaps he could come home for his lunch break. The work Alex had finished yesterday would make things easier for today, he could allow himself an hour to come check-in on his boy.

His boy. His Love. His Alex. If only it was Saturday already. All he wanted was to whisk Alexander off to the mountains, away from congress, away from work, away from everything that was hurting him.

Soon, George thought, soon.

Today, he’d go to work, come home for lunch and check in with Alex. Tomorrow, Alex would go to the doctor and make sure he was healthy enough for travel while George would prepare to face congress to fight against the bill. The day after George would face congress, the bill would be stricken down, and he’d be with Alex for three whole weeks. Even if they had to stay home because Alex couldn’t travel, they’d still be together. He prayed Alex only had a bad cold, or the flu, as long as it was something he could get through. If last night had been any indicator, the man definitely had something going on with him.

Last night, after they fell asleep; George had been replaying it in his head for the past hour. There was something about the way Alex had acted- the things he said- something definitely wasn’t right. George tried to be patient, tried to let Alex come to him on his own. But last night kept racing through his mind.

~~~

George rolled over I’m his bed. The sounds of  hacking coming from the bathroom disrupted his sleep. It took him a few moments before realizing Alex’s side of the bed was cold and abandoned. He looked at the clock; 1:42 AM. Not even an hour of sleep and already Alex’s body was fighting him again.

George rushed off the bed to the bathroom door. He wanted to burst in and check on his boy, but he knew better than to mess with Alex’s privacy. He knocked on the door, “Alexander, sweetheart, are you ok in there?”

George didn’t hear a reply, only a dull moan of pain.

“I’m coming in there, ok.” George grasped the doorknob, carefully opening the door, making sure Alex wasn’t leaning up against it. When he got it fully open, he wished Alex had been propped up against the door. It would have been better than where he was, curled up in fetal position on the center rug, trembling. George noticed the waist basket that was next to Alex’s side. The poor man must have vomited up his dinner and likely his medicine along with it.

George moved to his side, resting a hand, lightly, on his lover’s side. He felt the heat coming off Alex, the boy was burning up. “Alexander, what happened? Do you want me to carry you back to bed?”

Alex shuddered. George didn’t know if he heard him. He made a bold move and reached to turn Alex to face him. Alex violently flinched away from the pressure of George’s hands trying to move him.

“NO!” Alex cried out. The shout sent Alex’s body into another round of spasms. The pain in his stomach started up again, his arms wrapped around his chest. He started dry heaving, having nothing left in his stomach.  

George yanked his hand away from him, “Alex, princess, what- what- Just breathe. Breathe through the pain.” He didn’t respond. “Oh, Alex. Everything’s ok, just breathe.” He wanted so badly to reach out and sooth the boy but it was clear it would only make things worse. He didn’t know what to do. Alex was hurt, it was the dead of night, he wasn't thinking clearly. The only thing he could do was just sit there next to him and continue to say soft, encouraging words. So he did. He sat there and talked to him. Telling Alex it was ok, to breathe. Slowly, he watched as Alex’s breathing started to slightly even out.

“G-George?” Alex squeaked out. . His voice was muddy and rough. George still fet relief wash over him at the sound of his boy’s voice. Well, it was either relief or exhaustion. It didn’t matter, he just needed to focus on Alex and getting them back to bed. Nothing but Alex.

“Yes, princess, it’s me. Feeling a little better now? Do you think you might get sick again?””

Alex groaned, “A bit. I-I think my stomach finally settled.”

“Do you still not want me to touch you?” He asked cautiously.

“Oh- No, no that- I’d like that.”

George was relieved, he brushed the sweaty hair out of Alex’s face, running a hand up and down Alex’s back, bringing his back down to earth. “Can you tell me what happened, sweetheart?”

Alex slowly shifted his glance to look up at George, “I woke up and ran in here to throw up. Then my head started hurting and then the spasms started coming and then-and then-” ALex started hyperventilating.

“Shh, shh, love,” George coaxed, “Easy now, easy. Don’t stress yourself. Let’s just just work on getting back in bed,ok?”

Alex took a few deep breaths, “I-It’ll hurt to get up. And I need to wash off. I’m a mess.”  That was partially true. He did have a bit of vomit that landed on his shirt that was drenched in sweat as it was. George would need to clean him up but first he just wanted to get him in bed.

“We can wash you off when you’re in the bed. Now, may I carry you, would that be ok?”

Alex hummed, “Mm-hmm.” He didn’t make a move, he lay there limp as George placed an arm under his legs and another cradling his neck for support as he carefully flipped Alex over to face him.  Alex’s eye met his own, they were glassy, distant. He may have been responding to what George was saying but it was clear that he wasn’t all there. “You ready for me to lift you up?”

Alex closed his eyes and nodded. George slowly lifted him fully into his arms and up off the ground. He waited a moment for Alex to adjust until walking them to the bed where he laid Alex back down onto the mattress.

“I can clean the bathroom tomorrow. I’m sorry I made such a mess.” Alex said, panicking.

“Alex, dear, it’s fine. The only thing you’ll be doing tomorrow is resting.” George was thankful that Alex didn’t argue that, which also meant that his boy must be really tired to not have any fight in him.

George leaned in and kissed him on the crown of his head, “I’m going to go get something, you stay here and get comfortable.” Alex gave him a sign of acknowledgement. He moved to get up but Alex’s hand on his wrist pulled him back. “Alex.”

“I-Just come back quickly.”

“Of course, baby.” He said sweetly. “You won’t even know I’m gone.” Alex bit his lip but let go of George’s wrist.George gave him a soft smile and went off to the kitchen. He grabbed a glass, filling it with ice and pouring orange juice in. He ran a face towel under some cold water, wringing it out until it was only damp. Last, he got the bottle of melatonin from the medicine cabinet.

He walked back into the bedroom and sat down besides Alex on the bed. His eyes were droopy and his head kept rolling forward only to be snapped back in place.

George cupped Alex’s cheek, helping to prop his head up, “Don’t fall asleep just yet, Alexander. I have a few things for you.” His eyes moved down towards the shirt that Alex had sweated through. “But why don’t we get you a new shirt first? Does that sound ok?”

Alex nodded his head. George slowly rose off the bed and walked to the dresser. He opened it and went to grab one of Alex’s old t-shirts stopping short when he instead decided to grab one of his own. It was no secret that Alex liked wearing George’s clothing that was two sizes too big on him.

He walked back to the bed. To his surprise Alex had managed to claw the short off his body.Though it looked like Alex regretted that decision with how his body was tensed up.

“Th-that may have been a mi-mistake.” Alex mumbled.

George gave him a sad smile, “It’s ok, at least it’s off now.” He took the dirty shirt from Alex’s hand and tossed it to the ground.”I’m just going to wash you off a little with a cloth. Get all the sweat off.”  
“Ok.” Alex replied. George picked up the rag from the bedside table. He carefully brushed it across Alex’s chest, his arms, he flipped it to the clean side and used it to rub down his boys forehead and face. His poor boy, what was going on that was making happen? It had to be more than just a panic attack and a migraine. But two am was not the time to think on it.

“There, all clean.” George said, “A beautiful clean princess.” George kissed Alex’s forehead. Alex puffed a tiny laugh which warmed George’s chest. “Now, how about a fresh shirt?”

Alex’s eyes looked at the shirt George was holding out, “Isn’t that yours?”  
“Yep.”   
Alex smiled, “Good. I like your shirts.”   
“Really?” George chided, “Never would’ve guessed.” George fussed with the shirt to find the head hole.

“I would give you an eye roll if it wouldn’t kill me.” Alex smiled. George laughed and slipped the shirt onto Alex.

“Whatever you say,baby. Do you think you could drink something? Get the taste out of your mouth.”

“I -” Alex hesitated, “Alright. But just a little.” George nodded, understanding the risk of upsetting Alex’s stomach all over again.

George got the glass of chilled orange juice off the table and brought it up to Alex’s lips. Alex wrapped his own hand around George’s and the glass, he tilted up and let it slowly run down his throat.

“There you go, just let it slide down, princess.” George encouraged. Alex took a few sips before moving George’s hand away.

George unwrapped the sleeve of crackers, “Do you think you can have a few of these, love? Just to get something back in your stomach.”

“Yes, _Daddy_.” He responded, mocking George’s mother hen vibe he had going on.

George rose his eyebrow, “Cute. Do you think you actually can, _princess_?”

Alex swallowed hard, looking nervously at the food, “I can try.”

George handed of the crackers to him.

Alex just stared at it nervously, “I-I just don’t want to make a mess. Wh-what if I don’t ma-make it to the bathroom and….and throw up all over the she-”  
“Shh, shh, baby.” George soothed, “It’s ok. You’re doing so well.” He rubbed a hand up and down Alex’s back. “We can put a trash bin next to the bed if you’re worried about that.”   
“O-ok.”

“The crackers shouldn’t upset your stomach, plus your stomach won’t be painfully empty in the morning if you eat a few.”

Alex looked at George, then at the crackers, then back up, “Just a few.” George gave him a reassuring smile as Alex took bites out of the cracker, bites so small it would make a hamster blush.

“Good boy.” He praised, making Alex blush a little. He waited for Alex to choke down a few more before bringing the melatonin out of his pocket. “Alex, I- I thought it might help to take a melatonin pill, so you can sleep.”

“You...mean take a pill.”

“Yes, would that be ok?” George looked down at the bottle. It’s not like Alex hasn’t taken these pills before, what was different this time.

“I just-I don’t-I don’t know.” He said hastily.

“I can put it in the orange juice, if you’d like.” He offered.

Alex scrunched his shoulders up, his eyes flickered wearily to the juice, and the pills, and to George. He mumbled, “Ok.”

George opened the bottle and plopped the pill into the juice, swirling it around to mix it in. Once it was infused, he handed back to Alex, who took it with shaky hands.

Alex looked into the drink, “It’s just melatonin?”  
“It’s just melatonin, Princess.”

Alex took one more look into it and downed it in one go. He shuddered from the rapid action. George quickly moved to his side and bring him into his side. He gently stroked Alex’s hair while the residual shakes passed. George picked the rag back up from the table and used it to wipe the excess juice off of Alex’s chin.

“Thank you.” He whispered to George.

“Of course.” George said. They stayed there for a few moments, George slowly rocking them back and forth, comforting his love and trying to lull him back to sleep. They’d have to discuss things tomorrow but for now they could soak in the stillness of this moment. Just the two of them in a king sized bed rocking back and forth, back and forth alone in the dead quiet of the night with only the street lights from outside illuminating the room.

It was several minutes before George broke the silence, “Now roll over, you need to sleep on your right side so your stomach can settle.”

Alex didn’t question it, he rolled on to his other side and scooted over for George to slid in.

George lifted the covers and entered in, wrapping an arm around Alex’s waist.

“Goodnight.” Alex slurred, speaking through the sleep that was taking over him.

George kissed the blade of his shoulder, “Goodnight, Alexander. Sleep. Sleep and get better. Please.”  He didn’t sleep. He spent the night watching over Alex, gently rubbing his hands over him whenever he stirred or mumbled. He didn’t spare a thought towards his own health or how the lack of sleep was going to affect him. He just watched and he worried and he prayed.

*******

The steam from the hot water had completely fogged up the entire bathroom. George eased the water down until it was off and wrapped a towel around his waist.

He stood in front of the mirror, picked up his razor and spread shaving cream onto his chin. Usually this time in the morning he would either be standing next to Alex brushing his teeth, or smell the coffee Alex was making in the kitchen, or hearing Alex rustle through the closet to find his work suit for the day. He used a washcloth to wipe off his face, took one last look in the mirror and then went back into the bedroom.  
“George!” George watched as Alex was shoving on dress pants and frantically looking for the rest of his outfit, “I was just getting ready. I overslept but if I hurry I can still make the train on time and get into the office early enough to start worki-”

“What? Alex, slow down. There is absolutely no way you’re allowed to go into work today.” George said in a gentle but commanding voice.

“But the immigration bill. You can’t expect me to just stay home-”  
“You can’t expect that I will allow you to walk out the door in this state.”

“You have to.”

“You shouldn’t be working.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, Alex!” Alex flinched. George felt shame course through his body, “I-I’m sorry I yelled.” He made a small step towards Alex and put a hand on his forearm. “But, Alex, sweetheart, you’re sick or at the least physically exhausted. Stay home, get some rest, eat something. I’ll come to check on you during lunch.”

Alex’s lip quivered, “You don’t understand, I need to go in today.”

“Alex, please don’t do this.”

“George I need to do this.”

“Why? What reason is their for you to go into work today and not only endanger your own health but also possibly spread it to others? Why, Alexander?”

“Because if this bill goes through you’ll be destroyed.” Alex shut his eyes tight. “I’m sorry.”  
George stood there, confused, “What do you mean I’ll be destroyed?”

Alex didn’t move, it looked as if he wasn’t even breathing, “I-you, it’s just that...you will.”  
“Alex,” George stepped over to him so they were face to face, “What’s going on?”

He took a moment before answering, swaying back and forth a bit which George couldn’t tell if it was from being nervous or physically exhausted.  

“I’m being blackmailed.”

George’s heart stopped. “No.”    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to anyone who's still reading this, I know this fic barely updates. 
> 
> I'm sorry it's been so long. I have not been having the best of times lately and have been struggling with school. This fic is always in the back of my mind but sometimes things just happen. No matter how long it takes (hopefully not long) I will finish this. 
> 
> Have a lovely day!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth comes out

_ “Alex,” George stepped over to him so they were face to face, “What’s going on?” _

_ He took a moment before answering, swaying back and forth a bit which George couldn’t tell if it was from being nervous or physically exhausted.   _

_ “I’m being blackmailed.”  _

_ George’s heart stopped.  _

_ “No.” _

 

Alex ran a shaky hand through his hair, “If the bill goes through...I’ll be ruined and you’ll be well maybe not  _ ruined  _ ruined but it would hurt your chances of being president and maybe getting re-elected and-and.” He started hyperventilating, his legs gave out and he crumbled to the floor. 

George rushed to the ground and helped Alexander back up, wrapping an arm around him to keep balance. He was still shaking, ice cold to the touch, and the color in his face had vanished.

“How do you feel?” He asked Alex.

“Huh?” Alex looked at him, confusion growing on his face. That was not what he was expecting George to say.

“How do you feel, because you look ready to pass out, dear.” George said warily.

“I-I don’t think-” He choked out, “I don’t feel like that. ‘m not gonna pass out, just feel exhausted.” George rubbed his back, “Shh, baby, it’s ok. Just breathe.” He cooed softly into Alex’s ear. “Come on, let’s go sit on the couch in the living room, huh?”

Alex wiped away a single tear, “Yeah, yeah good idea.” George took small steps towards the living room with his hand still wrapped around Alex, guiding him slowly. 

“Alright,” George said. “Here, take a seat and here, a blanket to warm up.”

He sat Alex down and draped the throw blanket over his shoulders. He also grabbed the remote that turned up the heat. Alex’s was already in such a state of distress, the last thing he needed was to catch something, too. 

George sat down next to him and he curled, almost instinctively, into George’s side.

“Alexander, shh, calm down, we’ll figure this out.” He wrapped his arm around Alex’s shoulders and kissed the top of his head.

Alex sobbed into his shoulder, “I-It’s not alright, everything’s fucke- it’s really bad.”   
“I know, I know, but you need to tell me what happened so we can work this out.” George held Alex tight, “Just tell me what’s going on.” 

Alex took in a few rough breaths. Eventually he calmed down enough to speak clearly, “Ok. But...please don’t leave me.”   
“I promise you, I’m not going to leave. I’m right here, princess, and I’ll stay right here and we’ll work through this.” George said without a drop of doubt. But the truth was he was terrified.  _ How bad did things have to be for Alex to be so distraught?  _ He thought. 

“It’s ok, I’d understand if you did.” he sobbed brokenly. 

George moved a hand to Alex’s chin and tilted it so they made eye contact, “I know I won’t because we won’t let it come to that. We’ve been through this before, we’ll do it again.”   
Alex looked at him. There had been a million different things going on behind those eyes since last night, but for this one moment, they were focused only on George. For this one moment the only thing that Alex was thinking about was George. For one moment they were in the eye of the storm. And for a fraction of a second they felt like they could breath, it seemed like everything would turn out alright.

ALex took one last deep breath. “It began in college.” He paused, putting his head on George’s chest. “See, things were fine my freshman year, classes were ok, I had a lot of friends, it was a typical college experience. And then sophomore year happened.” He took a large gulp. “It got a lot harder to keep up with everything during midterms and it was more than just school.”   
“Your scholarship,” George stated.

“Yeah, but that’s not all of it. I was still on a student visa. Before college, when I was with my foster family, they tried everything they could to get me citizenship status before college so I wouldn’t have to worry about it. It didn’t work though, my foster dad said he would be able to set up the papers and everything but it would be during my senior or junior year.”

George connected the pieces in his head. “So you needed to stay in college until then so you could keep your visa?”   
Alex nodded. “Yep. Which meant I had to keep up the scholarship. No scholarship, no college, no visa and then it’s back to the island with me.”   
“That kind of pressure...I can’t imagine.”    
He let out a dry, humorless chuckle. “Looking back on it, I was an idiot. I should have just taken easier classes. Doesn’t matter now though…” He trailed off. George’s stomach knotted at how grim Alex’s tone was.

“So what happened during your sophomore year?” George prompted, trying to get Alex back out of his own head. 

“Oh, right.” Alex snapped back into the present. “So this is the part I’m not so...proud of. But you have to remember things were impossibly stressful for me.”   
“I understand.”   
“Thank you. Sophomore year was difficult but everything started going downhill in December, when the hell of midterms came. It was so hard to keep up, I needed something to help me focus.” Alex squirmed a bit, obviously uncomfortable.

“Are you… Are you talking about Adderall or a drug like that?”   
Alex squeezed his eyes tight. “Y-Yes.”   
George tried not to react. He didn’t really care about it but it was obvious that Alex was tearing himself apart for it. “It’s alright. You did what you thought you had to do. Anyone under those circumstan-”   
“George, I haven’t even gotten to the really bad part yet.” 

George’s heart sank. “Right, continue please.” He rubbed Alex on the shoulder and tugged him in a bit closer.    
“I feel horrible about taking the dru- pills, but that’s not the main problem now. It’s the person I got them from. His name is James Reynolds.”   
George’s ears perked up at that name. he could’ve sworn he’d heard it, and recently too. “Ok, what did he do?”   
“He was the one that gave me the pills. He started giving them to me before December actually, around October maybe. I didn’t need them everyday, just once in awhile. But the thing was I couldn’t pay him with cash...so I didn’t.”   
George didn’t even want to think about that could mean. “Do you mean that--?”   
“That I slept with him to get it. Well, not exactly. Not at first. I didn’t want to go that route, so I made a deal with him: I’d do some of his minor assignments, and he’d give me what I needed. It worked until midterms.” Alex’s face went blank. “I couldn’t manage to do his assignments on top of mine. That’s when I went the- the other route.”   
“So you slept with him?” George said flatly, his voice non-judging. 

“Worse. I-I didn’t want that so instead I- and remember I was so tired and I-I wasn’t thinking straight so I-I...I let him take some dirty pictures of me.” 

George tensed up as he saw where this was going, “And someone found them and they’re blackmailing you.”   
Alex closed in on himself. “Yes.”   
George went numb. He wasn’t angry or upset, or anything really. He just knew that this had to go away. If those pictures got out, he would have a scandal on his hands, Alex’s life would be ruined, and if the press started digging into Alex’s life, it didn’t matter how they careful had been  the chances were that someone could dig too far and they could find out about their relationship. This could get very messy very fast. But wait…

“Alex, there are more important issues with this, but how does this relate to the bill?”   
“Please don’t hate me,” he whimpered. 

“I promise I will never hate you. Just tell me so we can fix this” 

“James Reynolds is back and he’s working for Jefferson as a personal aide.”   
“Oh dear lord.” George said without thinking.   
Alex hung his head in shame, “If the bill goes through...he’ll release the photos.”   
“So this is the tape all over again, huh.” George’s head hurt.  _ Not this again. _ “When did he threaten you with this?”   
“Well, I saw him at the bar that day I went out with Laf and Peggy. I think he followed us, but he didn’t threaten me exactly. He just dragged me out behind the bar and told me to watch myself. I didn’t know what he meant, but I got scared over seeing him again. The last time I had, was after midterms sophomore year. We got in this argument and he...he shoved a bunch of pills down my throat and made me overdose.” Alex flinched and folded in on himself, it was a painful memory to think about. He let out a guttural sob.

George quickly brought him in closer, wrapping the boy in his arms and kissing him on the side of his head to try and calm him. “Hush, Alexander, it’s ok.” He wiped away the tear making its way down Alex’s face, “Do you need to take a rest, you can sleep and I’ll come back at lunch-”

“No.” Alex cut off, “No, it’s...it’s ok, I can do this.” Alex wiped away the mist in his eyes and took a deep breath.    
George tried to restart the conversation, “Did you ever try to press charges against Reynolds?”   
“That would mean admitting that he was giving me the pills beforehand.” 

“Right. I’m sorry that happened to you, sweetheart. Continue, you were talking about after you saw him at the bar.”   
Alex shifted in George’s lap to look at him, “Well, I was panicking and didn’t know what to do, so I just walked back to the booth Laf was in. When he saw me he knew something was wrong, then when I was starting to shut down and go into a panic attack he asked if I wanted to go home and I said yes.”   
“So he brought you here?” George was confused. He remembered Alex ending up at his and John’s apartment that night. Now that he thought about it,  Alex never mentioned how he ended up there.

“I didn’t want to be alone and you had all those meetings, and Laf and I are close but...not enough for this. So I went back to John’s and my place since John was home sick that day. I talked with him about what happened with James. Remember the nightmare I had a few days ago?”

“Yeah.”   
Alex’s voice grew quiet, “It was about James, well the time he made me overdose and then John found me and had to take me to the hospital to get my stomach pumped.” 

“This has been bothering you for a long time then?” George asked.

“Yeah, but usually it goes away. I was going to tell you, I really was--but sometimes the events get mixed up in my head and John helps me put them back together because-”

“Because he was there.” George finished his sentence, quoting Alex from when they talked about this a few days ago.

“Yeah.” Alex grew quiet again. George used the lull to let everything soak in. But he couldn’t. There was so much, so much that was there to process. His mind felt fuzzy. He tried to stabilize himself by focusing on Alex, his breathing, his warmth, just him. He needed to be there for him. George concentrated on his breathing and regained his focus. 

Once he was calmer, George spoke, keeping his voice smooth. “That night, when you stayed with John, I called you because I didn’t know where you were. Alex, you sounded so scared. Was it because of him? Is he really that terrifying?” 

Alex sniffled. “For me, yeah he is.” He took in a few breaths that rattled his body. “I should continue.”   
George stroked his hair, “Perhaps you should.”   
Alex took in yet another deep breath, “Where was I...oh right, John. John helped me to think everything through that night, just tried to get me to calm down. The day after that was the day I came in really late.”   
“Of course I remember. You had that big bump on your head.” George thought back.

“Right.” Alex shifted his eyes away. “That was actually from the day before. James, he-he pushed me into a wall and I got a smaller bump. But then walking into work the next day I did fall and hit my head which made the bump worse.”   
George didn’t even care that Alex had lied to him, he was just furious that this man dared to touch his boy, let alone hurt him. “Ok, but I already knew that. Then after you came in, we went to the hideaway and after Laf came with the news about Von Steuben I left you alone. The next time I saw you was when you were in total panic...oh, no, don’t tell me he-”   
“I don’t know how but James found the hideaway. Jefferson probably told him, purple bastard. That’s when James threatened me. He must have picked the lock because I remember locking the door once you left.” Alex scowled. “He just walked in and then the next thing I know he’s shoving me up against the wall, spitting in my face and telling me that he works for Jefferson and he’ll do anything to get the immigration bill passed because of course Jefferson’s has his stupid fucking name on it.” Alex was trembling, a mixture of anger and panic. “He said that I was close to you- position wise, I don’t think he knows about  _ us  _ us. Anyway- he told me that I needed to convince you to support the bill, or-or else he’d release the pictures.”   
“And we’d have a scandal. I’d have to fire you. It would become a big story.” George said, non-judging, just stating the facts.

“And then the press would start digging.” Alex stated. 

George felt his eyes widen, “And they’d start figuring things out, put the pieces together.”

“Best case scenario, they don’t find anything and I’m the only one whose name is destroyed. Worst case,” he took a large gulp, “everything goes to hell.”

George could feel a lump forming in his throat, “Then we don’t let it come to that. Either of those options.”

Alex shifted, his eyes grew wide with worry, “How-you can’t be thinking of actually supporting this bill? It...would destroy your career.” 

George could see the fresh tears forming at the corners of his lover’s eyes. With that bill, that awful bill, Alex wasn’t just worried about George’s political record. No. It was a matter of what the bill entailed. The immigration bill, one that would make it harder to come into the US, that’s what Alex was upset about.  Alex probably wouldn’t be alive if he hadn’t been able to come here; the thought of someone else not getting the same privilege because of some stupid bill- well, it made the tears in Alex’s eyes more than reasonable. 

“Hey,” George hushed, “You’re alright.”

“Don’t support the bill. I’m not worth the consequence.” He sobbed into George’s shoulder. 

“I won’t. I can figure something out.” George promised. In his head, he was starting to sort through all the different options and possibilities. 

“I can help too, ya know.” Alex said quietly. 

George scoffed, “No you can’t. Alex.”

He shifted out of George’s arms, “What do you mean? Of course I will.” 

“This situation, it has a time limit to it, Alex. I’ll have to find a way to resolve it today so I can focus on taking down the immigration bill on Friday.”

Alex stood up, aggravated in his movements, “I know, so we’ll go in and-”

George stood up, cutting him off, “You’re out of your mind if you think that I’m letting you come in today,” he said, perhaps a bit more harshly than he’d intended. 

“But-”

“No. You’re not well and dealing with this will not make anything better.” George moved towards the door, “Stay here, get some rest.”

Alex followed him over, looking weak and helpless, “But I need to help.”

George reached for his jacket,”You’ve done enough, Alexander.” This was getting annoying.

“I just want to-”

George held up his hand, “I know.” 

Alex flinched at the roughness in George’s voice. There was a moment of silence between them. George felt bad for his little outburst, but it was too goddamn early and too goddamn stressful of a week to be dealing with this. If only Alex would listen and stay here without a fight, then George could go fix everything. 

He took a deep breath, “Just stay here, please. Let me go in and fix this and we can talk when I get home.”

“Ok.” Alex looked at the floor, brokenly. “Just don’t hate me.”

George sighed. He leaned over and placed a quick peck on top of Alex’s head. “Just stay here.” He reached for the door. 

“I love you.”

George took one last look at him, “Rest, Alexander.” 

He stepped out and closed the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I know I'm so bad at updating so thank you if you've stuck with me through this fic!
> 
> As always, thank you to LadyReisling for continuing to beta this and make it soooooo much better!!!
> 
> I'm @rain-and-roses-in-the-city on tumblr


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